Homefires

This is a follow-up to "37 DAYS" which dealt with Julian's time as a Dominion prisoner. This story is about what happens when he returns to DS9.

The runabout landed on its elevator and descended.

Julian's heart pounded as the elevator locked into place.

"Doctor?"

"Coming." He answered Garak who was waiting by the hatch.

He took a deep breath and pushed away from the console to catch up.

They stepped out into the bay and Julian hesitated a moment when he saw Sisko, Kira and Dax.

He walked over to Worf.

"We need to get you to the Infirmary. There was only so much I could do on the runabout."

He took Worf's arm and nodded to them as they passed heading for the exit.

Sisko watched worriedly as they left.

"General, is my Doctor all right?"

"We were prisoners on an asteroid deep in the heart of Dominion space Captain...I do not know of all right, but he survived."

"I'm sure Chancellor Gowron would like a full report and I'd like to take a look at it as well if you don't mind?"

"Not at all Captain."

"Well, if you two will excuse me I think I'll head for the Infirmary and check on both of them." Dax nodded.

"A Romulan fleet is in the vicinity if you'd like to contact them." Sisko acknowledged the female Romulan.

"I would." She replied.

Sisko nodded to Kira who led her out.

"Mr. Garak, I'd like a report from you now."

"Of course Captain."

Sisko walked out with Garak and Martok.

Dax watched from the doorway as Julian settled Worf on to a bio-bed.

"You have some deep tissue bruising that'll heal on its own as long as you don't overexert yourself."

Worf scowled but remained on the bed as he walked out.

"He's doing well for battling nine Jem'Hadar in five days. You can see him if you want, just no par'Mach for a week or so." He told Jadzia as he went to a console.

"I will in a minute." She replied placing a gentle hand on his shoulder. "How are you?"

"Aside from needing a shower and shave I feel fine."

Dax pulled him into an embrace catching him offguard.

"I'm glad you're all right." She whispered in his ear.

Julian didn't hug her back, he knew if he did he wouldn't want to let go and would probably breakdown and he had far too much work to do before he let that happen.

"Worf's waiting." He said gently pushing her away.

Dax kissed him on the cheek then went to see Worf.

Julian took a deep breath to regain control then went to Jabara.

"I want you to pull all the patient records for the last thirty seven days and put them in order of seriousness, starting with the surgical patients. I'll be back in about twenty minutes, and keep Worf in bed, Doctor's orders."

"Yes, Doctor. Doctor...it's good to have you back." She said quietly.

"Thank you." He nodded and left.

Jabara watched him go with a sigh.

She hadn't even realized she was working alongside a changeling and it chilled her to think of what he, it, might have done to all of them.

The Doctor's imprisonment had been kept on a need to know basis only and she was glad Kira had seen fit to tell her.

She tapped the Doctor's command into the computer and waited for the files to come up.

Julian stood outside the open door to his quarters.

His breathing was labored, pulse rapid.

Diagnosis?

Fear.

Julian knew it was irrational, after all, Kira and Dax had killed the changeling but he couldn't help it.

"Doctor, hey, can I get an interview for the Federation wire service?" Jake asked striding up to him.

"NO!" Julian said quickly stepping inside and closing the door between them.

Julian looked around his quarters anxiously.

Nothing seemed out of place...

He walked to the center of the room and did a slow pan and thought everything looked okay.

He then walked to the bedroom doorway and called for the lights.

The room was illuminated but Julian didn't enter.

He balled his fist as he stepped through.

There was silence, as there should have been, when he listened intently.

He sighed as he walked to the dresser and opened it, kneeling down and reaching around the back he pulled an object out with a smile.

He hugged his well worn bear to his chest then minutely examined it to make sure the changeling hadn't damaged it in any way.

When he was satisfied it was unharmed he placed it on top of the dresser and went to the closet where he found a brand new uniform like Worf had been wearing when he ended up in the camp.

He removed it and gave it a thorough once-over as well then placed it on the bed as he went to take a shower.

"Over a month?" Sisko asked dropping into a chair and shaking his head.

"He was taken from a burn treatment conference on Meezan IV." Garak added for clarity.

"That changeling walked around here, attended our meetings, ate with us..." Sisko said pounding his fist on the desk.

Garak remained silent knowing how Sisko felt at that moment. Duped, tricked... and guilty for not realizing Dr. Bashir wasn't the real thing. They saw him, talked to him everyday and never suspected, not for a moment. What must the Doctor be thinking?

"You said he was released from isolation as you arrived?"

"Yes."

"Why was he in isolation?"

"He didn't say."

"Thank you Garak. I'd like you to put it all in writing so Starfleet can study it."

"Anything to help stave off the Dominion."

"And get Cardassia out of their clutches?"

"If Starfleet comes up with a plan to do both I won't object."

"Thank you and thanks for bringing Julian and Worf home."

"It was my pleasure, I assure you." Garak nodded as he left the office.

Miles watched Sisko's door close once Garak left.

He wanted to go down and see Julian for himself but he was the only senior staff member presently in Ops and he sure wished Kira or Dax would get back up there.

He had been thoroughly shocked and stunned when they got the priority one message from the Gamma Quadrant with Julian's name on it.

How long had he been there?

What did they do to him?

He had a million questions for his best friend and was elated to have him back safely but also angry at himself for not realizing it wasn't him. The clues were there and he should have picked them up and knew it wasn't Julian. The darts for example, the changeling had told him he'd ordered new darts. They had been in the middle a battle and he was talking about darts! 'I have a feeling things will turn out for the best' it had said. It would have for them had he succeeded in blowing up Bajor's sun. The explosion would have wiped out the station, Bajor, most of the Federation, Klingon and Romulan fleet...

thank God Julian got that message to us when he did...there'd have been nothing left for them to come back to otherwise.Julian saved all our lives.

Julian stood in the shower and let the water run over him. He had been under its spray for ten minutes all ready but he could have stayed ten hours it felt so good. He washed his hair twice and scrubbed his skin clean. He sighed deeply knowing he had work to do so he turned the water off, toweled dry and combed his hair, getting a good look at his reflection in the mirror he sighed again. Have to get my hair cut. He shaved and felt a little more like himself though he was tired and a little depressed. I've been through a lot these past thirty seven days and it will take time to get past this. I'll work it out, but not now, there's too much to do.

He walked to the bedroom and dressed quickly in the new uniform, finding it a bit loose but he knew he would fill out once he could resume a normal diet which also would take time.

Julian slipped his jacket on then headed back to the Infirmary.

"Doctor, welcome home."

"Thank you Constable." Julian replied as Odo fell into step beside him.

"I'm...sorry for what my people did to you."

"You're not responsible for their actions Odo, besides, you're not one of them anymore, you're a 'solid'."

"Actually...I'm a changeling again."

"How did this happen?" Julian asked stopping and eyeing him with concern.

"Quark found a baby shapeshifter, it was dying and you...the changeling, managed to save it. Dr. Mora and I worked to teach it but it died from the tetryon radiation it had been exposed to. Before it died it absorbed itself into me and I could shapeshift again."

"Let me see if I understand this...the changeling of me saved a baby of your people which ultimately died as it invaded your body?"

"I know what you're thinking but the changeling didn't hurt me, he may have even done it to help me become myself again. I was only punished for killing one, perhaps they felt my punishment had been served."

"'Krajensky' would not have hesitated to kill you and everyone else aboard the Defiant by starting a war with the Tzenkethi!"

"Doctor--" Odo tried, seeing he had upset Bashir which was not his intention.

"I want this station locked down until I have personally examined everyone that changeling saw! That is an order!" Julian replied setting off at a quicker pace for the Infirmary.

Odo watched him then touched his comm. badge.

"Odo to Sisko."

"Go ahead Constable."

"Dr. Bashir wants the station locked down so he can check everyone the changeling treated."

"That might not be such a bad idea. Do it." Sisko ordered.

"Yes,sir."

Julian found his head nurse at a console.

"Everyone is listed from surgical patients on down." She informed him.

"Thank you." He replied scanning the list.

Sisko underwent a NEUROPOLARIC INDUCTION!!!!

"Bashir to Sisko come to the Infirmary immediately!"

"I'll be right there."

"There you are."

Julian glanced at Miles O'Brien.

"Miles." He acknowledged still scanning the list.

"So...um...how long were you gone anyway? A few days?"

"Try over a month."

"What?!? I've been hanging out with a changeling for that long?!?"

"And you never even suspected it wasn't me?"

"No. And the worst part is, the clues were right in front of me."

"What clues?"

"Well, for one thing, he was a lot easier to get along with." Miles joked trying to ease the awkwardness.

"If you don't mind I have a lot of work to catch up on." Julian replied icily.

"Jul--"

"Reporting as ordered Doctor." Sisko said arriving.

"Good, Jabara, please show the Captain to the changing room, I'll be right there."

"If it makes any difference I feel fine." Sisko said.

"Captain, that changeling performed a very critical procedure on you and until I've examined you I won't know what else he might have done."

"All right, lead the way Jabara."

The nurse nodded and they left Julian and Miles behind.

"Um...do you want to get a drink later?"

"If I have time but I do have a lot of work to take care of and I need to get started..."

"I understand." Miles replied dejectedly as Julian concentrated on the padd he was holding.

He stepped back to the door and watched the furrows on his friend's face.

He really hoped Julian could make it...they had a lot to talk about.

Julian joined Sisko and Jabara five minutes later and handed her the padd.

"Contact these people and tell them to be examined at a Starfleet facility, don't panic them, just let them know it would behoove them to be checked. Tell them we had a virus we just identified and they need to thoroughly tested. If they give you any trouble let me know."

"Yes,Doctor."

"Let's get started." Julian told Sisko as she left them. "Computer, begin a level one scan of the cerebral cortex. Tell me about your pag'tem'far."

An hour later the exam was complete and Julian knew all the details not filed in the report.

He frowned as he read the results form the computer analysis.

"What is it?" Sisko asked concerned.

"Nothing."

"Doctor--"

"There's nothing wrong with you, you're perfectly healthy."

"You sound disappointed." Sisko smiled as he slid off the bed.

"I'm surprised, that's all. He could have done anything to you during surgery...but he didn't."

"And that bothers you?"

"What bothers me is that he knew enough to perform a critical brain procedure on you and do it expertly."

Were they studying me? If they were, for how long?

"Julian..."

"I have a lot of other patients to see and hopefully they'll all be as healthy as you. You can get dressed and return to work sir." Julian replied turning back to the console.

"Doctor, you'll have to contact a dozen patients." Jabara announced as she came back in.

"I'll do it now. Let Vedek Thoma and Kira know I'd like to see them."

Jabara nodded and left again.

"Excuse me Captain, I need to take care of this."

Sisko nodded as well and went to change.

Kira and Vedek Thoma arrived at the same time and Jabara asked them to wait while the Doctor tended to some other business.

Kira knew he would call once Odo told her of the lockdown.

She certainly understood Bashir's concern, but she felt perfectly fine and figured that if the changeling had done anything to her she'd know it.

She sighed as she leaned against the wall and folded her arms to wait and nearly jumped when she heard a loud bang from his office which sent her striding to the door where she came to a stop.

"You stupid son of a----!!!"

"Julian?"

"How many brain cells does someone have to have to figure out that I am trying to help them?!?" He seethed.

She didn't answer knowing he wasn't angry with her. The best she could do for him was to let him vent. She rolled his chair back over to the console from where he had apparently kicked it.

"'I would know if there was a problem'. That's what he said! As if he would know anything about medicine!!!"

Julian took a deep breathe and tried to calm down as he turned to Kira sheepishly.

"I'm ranting over here when we need to get you and the Vedek examined." He apologized.

"I've certainly ranted at you enough times to owe you an ear." She smiled.

"So tell me about this Cardassian who killed your friends and nearly you and Kirayoshi."

"What can I get you Chief?" Quark asked as O'Brien walked in.

"A synthale. I'm meeting Julian here...I hope."

"Would that be the real Bashir or the changeling?"

"Oh! Like you were able to tell the difference!" Miles snapped and took his drink to an empty table.

"That's the problem, nobody could tell." Quark commented.

Morn nodded in silent agreement.

Miles walked to the door again and glanced at the Infirmary. He had been in Quark's for two hours now and it looked like Julian wasn't going to make that drink. He finished his synthale and walked out heading to bed. Maybe we can get together tomorrow.

Julian checked the results of the tests on the Bajoran child he'd examined and smiled at her and her parents.

"She's fine, thank you for coming by."

Julian stretched his aching back as they left.

"Jabara, get in touch with the next person--"

"Belay that order."

"Jadzia, what are you doing?"

"Have you eaten? At all today?" She added before he could come up with some quip.

Julian blew out a breath and shrugged.

"I thought so. I'm taking the Doctor to the replimat."

Jabara nodded and smiled at them as her superior was led out.

She knew the comely Trill was the only one who get away with it which is why she had called her.

The Doctor was pushing himself far too hard and it concerned her.

He had worked right through lunch yet allowed her and the staff to eat and now it was hours past dinner time.

She could understand his wanting to examine everyone the changeling saw but he seemed determined to do it all in one night and it just wasn't possible without harming himself and she would not allow that.

She filed the records he'd finished and took a small break herself.

Julian sipped his tea under Jadzia's watchful gaze.

She had tried to get him to share her sandwich when he'd ordered soup only but he said he wasn't that hungry so she didn't push.

She glanced around, glad for the solitude in the replimat.

"Tell me what you went through." She asked.

Julian leaned back in his chair and sighed.

He knew what she was trying to do and he appreciated it but he simply wasn't ready to relive it yet.

"Not a lot to tell."

"Well...when were you kidnapped?"

"You remember the burn treatment conference on Meezan IV?"

Jadzia nodded but didn't seem surprised and he assumed Worf or Sisko told her.

"How did they treat you?"

"Like a prisoner."

"Julian--"

"I'm fine Jadzia, really. I just want to get my life back together and move on. Once I've finished with the patients I can do that."

Jadzia nodded but knew from seven other lifetimes it wouldn't be that easy. He can lie to me, to all of us, but not to himself, the memories of what he went through there won't allow him to and he'll have to talk about it and I will be there for him when he's ready to.

"Well...thanks for dinner but I need to get back."

"Julian...try to get some sleep." She requested.

He waved as he headed for the door.

She sighed as she returned the plates to the reclimator. He's such a private person, oh, he talks a lot when he wants to, but we really don't know that much about him, not really. Where is he from? Are his parents alive? Does he have any brothers or sisters? Julian never talks about his family at all. Ever since finding out they were dealing with a changeling those questions had plagued her. I wonder if Worf is still up? She had taken him to her quarters to rest after Julian released him from the Infirmary. Maybe we can talk about what happened there. She left determined to get answers.

Julian worked until 2300 and would have kept on but knew the patients would have objected and besides his eyes were burning so he bid goodnight to his staff and headed to his quarters.

He called for lights as the door slid open and he shed his jacket then jumped at a noise form the bedroom.

He quietly dropped his jacket onto the couch and went to the side table where he removed his phaser then called for the bedroom lights which came on immediately and he stepped into the bedroom gripping his weapon and anxiously scanning the room.

He heard the sound again and walked slowly in further to find its source then realized with relief that it was just the airfilters. He'd grown so used to the camp that he had to readjust to DS9. He changed out of his uniform and donned his pajamas then climbed into bed with Kukalaka. You've seen me through a lot little friend, I know you'll see me through the night too.

Julian felt a push at his arm and awoke groggily.

"Did you really think you could escape so easily?"

Julian sat up frightened as he saw a smug Deyos flanked by half a dozen Jem'Hadar.

"Take him." The Vorta ordered.

The soldiers reached for him and he kicked and hit but it was no use and they drug him to his feet.

"You humans, such an inferior species." Deyos commented then turned to the shadows. "It's all yours." He said bowing.

Julian shook his head as a changeling stepped from the shadows and morphed into him.

"No!" Julian exclaimed as he was pulled away from his bed.

The changeling picked up the beloved bear looking at it oddly then tossed it into a corner.

"Now the Alpha Quadrant will be ours." It stated with Julian's voice.

"NOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!" Julian screamed as the transporter took hold of him.

He bolted upright panting fearfully and looking around wild-eyed. He hugged Kukalaka to his chest with shaking hands as he breathed deeply to calm himself.

"Computer, what time is it?" He asked after a few minutes.

'0545 hours.'

Julian climbed out of bed with a sigh and put Kukalaka on the dresser then showered and dressed.

After that nightmare he wouldn't even deign to go back to sleep.

He ordered a soothing cup of Tarkalean tea then sat down at his computer.

He still had a report to write for Starfleet.

He finished by 0615 and sent it to Sisko's office computer.

Signed, sealed and delivered, he thought as he ordered some scone and a mug of raktajino for breakfast knowing the Klingon coffee would keep him awake through the afternoon when he figured his exams should be complete.

He ate quickly and headed out for the Infirmary even though he didn't have to be there until 0800 he figured it would give him a chance to catch those coming off the fourth shift. Dr. Garrani would still be there so she could handle anyone who came in while he was working on the exams. He saw one other crewman as he walked through the habitat ring and didn't recognize them figuring they must be new then realized anyone new could be a month old. He espied Morn sleeping on a bench outside Quark's and smiled that somethings hadn't changed while he was gone.

"Good morning Doctor. I didn't expect you for at least another hour."

"I have some work to finish up." He answered as he met Dr. Garrani in the main ward.

"It's uh...been quiet." She replied looking at him.

"I'll be in the back if you need me." He nodded and left her.

He had gotten the same reaction from the patients who were privy to his situation. Some of them asked how he was but they didn't really want to know, not even Dax, not really. They wanted to get on with life, act as if nothing had happened. I wish I could, he thought as he recalled his nightmare.

"Doctor?"

"Oh, come in Keiko. Good morning Molly and how are you?"

"Fine."

"That's good."

"I told her you wanted to do another check-up on her and Yoshi."

"You did that a couple of weeks ago." Molly pouted.

"The things is Molly, one of the patients was sick a few weeks ago and we just found out so I need to check everyone again."

"Can I have a jumja stick?" She asked him.

"When Dr. Bashir is finished." Keiko answered.

"How about if I help you onto the bio-bed?" He smiled at the girl.

Molly lifted her arms up and he picked her up then deposited her on the bed.

Keiko watched nervously as he checked her children.

When Miles had told her that the Julian who checked them just weeks ago was a changeling she had been shocked and frightened and immediately made an appointment but when she'd woken up this morning she was anxious and asked the computer to locate Julian so when it told her he was in the Infirmary she took them straight there over Molly's protests.

"They're wonderfully healthy." Julian smiled at her when he was done.

"Can I have a jumja now?" Molly asked

"A small one." Keiko sighed.

"Yeah!" Molly squealed.

"Thanks Julian."

"You're welcome." He said as relieved as she was.

He checked the time then tapped his comm. badge.

"Bashir to Odo, please report to the Infirmary."

"I'm busy at the moment Doctor."

"With what?"

"My criminal activities reports."

"Now Constable!" Julian ordered as Odo looked up when his door opened.

It was clear from Bashir's stance that he wouldn't take no for an answer so Odo followed and spent the next hour being poked and prodded and ordered to shapeshift so Julian could test his density to see if it had been altered in any way by either the baby changeling or his replacement.

"Are you finished?" Odo grunted.

"Yes."

"And am I fine?"

"Apparently."

"Then may I return to work?"

Julian sighed deeply.

"I'll take that as a yes and hope I don't have many more criminal reports to go through in my absence." Odo replied and left.

Julian went back to his exam roster and called up the next patient.

He decided that when he was finished he'd treat himself to lunch at Quark's.

"Keiko said he spent an hour and a half on Molly and Yoshi."

"Tell me about it, being poked and prodded, Odo do this, Odo shapeshift into that."

"I personally think he's over-reacting. The changeling didn't hurt any of us." Kira added.

"Well, Julian....Julian." Dax said as he came up to them.

"Am I interrupting? Please don't let me intrude! I'm so sorry I was concerned that the changeling may have hurt any of you! It's not like it tried to kill you all! Forgive me for caring since you obviously don't!" He blasted them then strode out.

"Julian wait!" Jadzia called chasing after him.

Of all the ungrateful....!!!!

Julian fumed as he stepped inside his quarters and locked the door.

I re-tested them all for their own sakes! It would have been no skin off my nose had the changeling done anything to them!

Oh, who are you kidding, you would have felt guilty as hell had it hurt them.

He dropped onto the couch feeling miserable and angry.

The door chimed and he ignored it.

"Julian, I know you're in there, let me in...please."

"Go away Jadzia!"

He heard her call for command override and the door slid open.

"So much for privacy."

"I wanted to make sure you're all right...and to explain."

"Believe me, you were clear enough."

Jadzia sat down next to him.

"We didn't mean to hurt you Julian. We're just having a hard time with this. We treated him just like you because we thought he was you."

"Don't you think it's been hard on me?" He asked standing. "I was on that asteroid for 37 days not knowing what was happening here with all of my friends. Not knowing whether I would ever even see you again. I came back fraught with worry that it had given you all some deadly virus or even replaced you!"

"Julian, calm down." Dax replied standing now.

"How can I when that damn thing stole my life?!?"

Dax wrapped her arms around her friend.

She could feel the tension radiate off him and wanted so much to help him get through his pain.

But Julian wanted none of her comfort and gently pushed her away and walked to the door.

"I'm sure Worf is wondering where you are."

"He knows where I am."

"The Jem'Hadar worked him over and he could probably use some TLC."

So could you, she thought to herself as she faced him.

"If you want to talk..."

"I appreciate the offer but no."

There was so much going on in his eyes that he wouldn't give voice to.

"Good night Jadzia." He said opening the door.

She silently sighed as she stepped into the corridor and the door slid closed and locked behind her.

Sometimes she forgot these other humanoid's hadn't lived long enough to say what they were feeling.

Julian definitely needed to talk but they couldn't force him to, which left her afraid he would never open up and the pain would fester and consume him and she wasn't about to lose her dear friend.

Jadzia walked through the corridor feeling worried and frustrated.

She had asked Julian to breakfast, lunch and dinner the past three days and was politely refused every time.

From what the others said he was barely speaking to them, that was, when they saw him which wasn't much.

Julian had made himself scarce and that was what spurred her to talk to Benjamin and now she was headed to the wardroom upon his request.

"Come in and have a seat 'old man'." Sisko said as she arrived.

"I presume we're going to talk about Julian." She replied taking her customary seat, second from the head of the table on the left.

"Yeah, what's with the attitude lately? I miss my friend." Miles frowned.

"Well, we were talking behind his back." Kira sighed. "I wouldn't like my friends doing that to me."

"He needs to move past what's happened. Perhaps counseling with Telnorri?"

Dax noticed Sisko remained silent and was about to ask what he thought when the doors opened.

"Sorry I'm late." Julian said entering.

"The floor's all yours." Sisko nodded.

"You called this meeting?" Kira asked surprised.

"Yes, I did. I've spend the last several days with Counselor Telnorri talking about what I went through. One emotion which was stronger than all the others was anger. I was angry at being locked up, treated like a nothing but Telnorri made me see that that was only the surface. My real anger lie elsewhere... at all of you."

"Us? What did we do?" Miles asked defensively.

"We didn't realize that we weren't dealing with Julian." Dax answered nodding.

"Yes. The one things that kept me going in the camp was that you would know a changeling had taken my place. Then Worf and Garak arrived and...."

"And told you about the changeling making you see that we had been fooled." Sisko supplied.

"He acted just like you Julian." Kira added.

"And that's the problem. I expected you all to know me well enough to see through him. To pick up on things he said or did that I wouldn't have."

"Doctor, my people are very clever and--"

"Odo, I don't blame any of you anymore. I've been as guilty of putting on the face I want everyone to see as anyone else here. I'm telling you I'm sorry for blaming you for not seeing him for what he was when I haven't let you see me very well."

"We're sorry too Julian and I for one would like to know more about you. Your favorite color for instance? So I can make you a sweater." Jadzia smiled.

"I appreciate that and I'm sorry if I came across as so manic when I returned and demanded to exam some of you. Telnorri tells me it's from not having any control in the camps. We were told when to get up, when to eat, when to go to the bathroom, when to sleep... I was looking to regain some semblance of control over my life. I just wanted to put it all behind me when I got back but now I see it's going to take time and a lot of working through to do that and I hope you'll all be patient with me."

"We'll do whatever we can to to help." Sisko promised.

"Thank you, sir. I won't let the Dominion have control anymore." Julian promised them and himself.

I will regain my life and I will not let them win.